Bed Time Story



By Roger Wiseman



Last night, Friday, I had a dream. It was not your every day dream so far as
those go.



I was relaxing in my single wide bed while looking at the newsgroups for
someone to harass. Darned if I didn't come across Lloyd Davies once again!
(or at least someone who looked like him)



Of course I have been stalking Lloyd for years, and I was quite pleased to
see him on the Newsgroups.



I popped up from my lonely mattress and immediately began pounding upon my
Wal-Mart keyboard. Imagine my excitement! Here I was, Loser Roger, wasting a
perfectly good evening when along came Lloyd! Imagine my excitement! I
couldn't get off my crusty mattress quick enough!

I quickly logged on to the nearest anonymous email service and began
furiously pounding away on my keyboard. I had so much to say and so little
time..too many newsgroups and so little time.



I began by regurgitating the standard Roger Wiseman filth.you know the role.
I cuss a lot but say little.

Then I spent a few minutes searching the Web for personal information to
post about others.

When that failed I had little recourse but to fall by the standard retorts,
such as calling Lloyd a "Lardass" and calling other posters "Nazis".



I can't help myself. Sometimes the voices in my head take control and I can'
t stop it.



Yes, I sometimes poop on the floor but the voices tell me to do so. I only
do what the voices tell me.



I used to take Thorazine. I really did. I pay about four dollars per pill. I
found out that I can make a few bucks ...I sell the pills to the area kids
and make enough to pay my utilities with a little left over.



Of course without my meds I am a Social Misfit.a psycho.a Cork Soaker..



And to top it off? I am not Roger.