Frank

It took me 15 minutes to stop laughing and pick my self up off the
floor. That was great.

james

On Thu, 12 Oct 2006 08:37:12 -0700, Frank Gilliland
wrote:

+++
+++Washington, D.C.:
+++
+++In an early morning press conference today, President Bush announced
+++plans to seek MLB sanctions against the San Francisco Giants in order
+++to prevent another airplane from crashing into a building.
+++
+++Almost immediately critics argued that it was a New York Yankee at the
+++controls of the plane, not a San Francisco Giant.
+++
+++When asked why he is demanding pre-emptive measures against the team,
+++Bush purported that the intelligence community has "hard evidence that
+++at least one San Francisco player has a pilot license," and that such
+++a crash in the future is "...imminent. It's a slam-dunk."
+++
+++Secretary of State Rice also responded to the critics by saying, "We
+++can't wait until our fears are confirmed in the shadow of a mushroom
+++cloud. It's important that we remain vigilant against this new
+++threat."
+++
+++White House Press Secretary Tony Snow responded to reporters questions
+++after yesterday's crash, stating that Vice-President Cheney was moved
+++to an undisclosded "secure location".
+++
+++When asked if the Secret Service if the Secret Service was "stretched
+++too thin" to protect the President, he affirmed that he had "no reason
+++to believe they are busy doing anything else", seemingly unaware of
+++last night's incident in Texas where a standoff occured between the
+++Secret Service and a madman that was holed up in the Texas Ranger's
+++dugout with a shotgun.
+++
+++House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco held a press
+++conference shortly after President Bush's announcement, alleging that
+++his plan is a "fear-and-smear" tactic to gain Republican support just
+++prior to the mid-term elections.
+++
+++Presidential hopefull Senator John McCain was unavailable for comment,
+++although a press release from his office claims that the crash was
+++"all Clinton's fault".
+++
+++Also unavailable for comment was House Speaker Dennis Hastert. Media
+++members outside his home in Illinois report someone yelling out his
+++window, "I didn't know anything! I won't resign!"
+++