On the other hand, there are a number of women that are very controlling and
that control unreasonably limits their husband's activities. I have ham
friends who do not allow their husband to have an antenna outisde "for fear
of neighbors objections". In that case, the neighbors are more important
then the husband. Seems like a questionable marriage from the start.

Part of the secret of a long marriage is to find the hot buttons of your
spouse and never push them. For me, being late for dinner, without calling,
even in an emergency, is not recommended. Another is having the slightest
piece of food in the sink when she returns from a long trip. Beyond that,
she is tolerant.

I did mention earlier that when she was gone on a long weekend, I did sneak
in 14,000 tubes and it was weeks before she noticed them. Is that criminal?
A friend was dying and wanted me to buy them from him - so I did. She would
not have wanted them at our place and it would have bothered her if, before
bringing them home I had said "honey, I am going to bring 14,000 tubes home,
what do you think?" When she found out, it was already accomplished. I hid
them fairly well, I thought. She found them and tolerated them. Not
pleased, but she understands that I have many good qualities. She never
once suggested that I was the only man she knew with 16,000 radio tubes.
She never said that none of her friends have to live with 16,000 radio
tubes.

She would rather spend $300 on a night out. I would rather spend the money
on a ratty old radio. My investment is a much better investment, and she
knows it. No different than a husband who came to my office one day. His
wife had passed away and he wondered if there was anything that needed to be
probated. I inquired. They were both immigrants from Russia and washed
dishes. I asked what assets they had. He said a car and a few thousand
dollars - everything they needed. I smiled and said there was nothing I
needed to do. Over the next few months, he brought in many stock
certificates found hidden around the house. In the end, he brought in over
$100,000 worth of stock certificates (this was decades ago when $100,000 was
real money). His wife had spent all their savings on stock certificates.
He knew nothing about it. He was happy. The marriage, by your standard,
was a total fraud, so they should have divorced, I suppose.

Good marriages are based upon many different things. What works for one
couple, may not work for another. I expect that most marriages have secrets
between the partners. I am sure my wife tells her friends things about me
that she does not talk to me about. I expect I would be disappointed if she
did not.

So, even though some of the comments were tongue in cheek and some were not,
you have to look at the total aspect. Suppose a husband buys a boatanchor
and sneaks it in the back door. It is really an investment and can
generally be sold later for at least what what was paid for it. Isn't that
better than a husband who, thinking he is not going to live forever and
being worried about money for his wife, buys Enron stock? Or perhaps you
are suggesting that before either spouse does anything they need to discuss
it with their spouse.

In the end, being judgmental about how someone else lives requires a certain
amount of ego. With some exceptions, I try not to judge how others live.
My main responsibility is to make sure the sink is clean when my wife gets
home after a long trip - and call before dinner if I am going to be late.

Life is good.

Colin K7FM