curiouscat wrote:
So, what defines these different terms. If I am dating a man who is
married to a woman who is dating another guy does that make us a
quad? Is he the hinge point of our own little triad? What if we all
socialize but don't do more than that, and that only occasionally?
What if the wifes' b/f is least comfortable with the situation? He is
still having problems with the whole poly thing even though they have
been together for more than 6 months, while I am comfortable after
only a month. Am I winning? :-D Am I maybe too competitive for my
own good? Maybe I am too caught up in labels, but with 3 special
needs kids, you get used to them as signposts for progress.

The whole idea and the way it is all working is fascinating to me when
I step back and look at the dynamics of it all. I was thinking that
with the stats in this country for monogamy, 50% divorce rate on first
marriages, 75% on second marriages. Infidelity at about 60% for men
and 40% for women in monogamous marriages. We aren't a monogamous
society, we are a serially monogamous society at best. Wouldn't it be
better to just acknowledge that a model that worked well for people
who may have lived 20-25 years after their marriage just doesn't work
as well for people who are looking at 50-70 years? After all, no one
expects to be the same person they were at 25 when they hit 75.

Not that I am disparaging monogomous marriage. My parents are
approaching their 60th anniversary and going strong. My grandparents,
well one set of them, nearly got to 70 years together before one
passed on. On the other hand, I got the strong impression from my
other grandmother that they had never been monogomous, even if they
did stay married.

I guess I just don't understand the obsession with monogamy. It's not
a bad system, just flawed for many people from the look of it. Of
course it could be my new fascination with polyamory. I think I need
another boyfriend... any candidates? :-D

Curious Cat

I also wonder about non-human animals. I have a German Shepard and he
occasionally gets involved in sex play between me and my male and
female lovers. If someone is involved with their dog in addition to
their wife or lover, does this count as polyamory? And just how far
must the involvement go? My dog has only mounted me a couple of times,
but he's really into giving me oral sex--and receiving it.

I think we're going to be hearing more about beastiality and polyamory
in the days ahead. I work for Univision Radio in Glendale, CA, and all
our research tells us that people want to hear more on the radio about
sex, especially sex with animals. This kind of broadcasting may be the
only way to save AM as we know it.