lefties go crawl in your holes
 

Sam bought a new truck last week, but then returned to the dealer the
next day because he couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. 'Nelson,
the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie,' he continued and 'On The Road Again' came from the
speakers. Then he said,

'Ray Charles' and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie
Nelson.

Sam drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time he'd say,
'Beethoven,'

He'd get beautiful classical music, and when he said, 'Beatles,' he'd
get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed his new truck,
but he swerved in time to avoid them.

'Ass Holes!' he yelled.

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane
Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie
Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on
harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill
Clinton on sax, and Ted Kennedy on scotch.