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September 18th 03, 03:55 AM

(Brian) wrote in message . com...
"K0HB" wrote in message news:9b590f5e564adc3cc2ce5ff0ead6e71b.128005@myga te.mailgate.org...
The Wise Ones live in the depths of the D, E, and F-Layers, and in the
servers at Google.com. They are the descendants of the Gods. I
personally subscribe to the theory they are the children of Thor
Heyerdahl, the Viking god of Thunder and Balsawood Raft Dxpeditions. But
that's another story.

snip

I liked the story of "Little Billy Beeper" better.

(Apologies to Kurt Vonnegut)

To all external appearances, Farnsworth Corners, U.S.A., is bright,
cheerful, and happy. However, in dark corners of the city lurk Godless
Nocoders who seek to undermine the moral fabric of our mighty Nation.

In a dirty basement apartment, an underfed, seedy-looking old man
wearing small, round spectacles and threadbare clothes, types furiously
at a musty desk illumined only by a single, naked bulb. As the pages
fly through his typewriter, an evil plan gradually emerges: a treacherous
treatise which threatens the well-being of the upright citizens of
Farnsworth Corners. The work is completed, and the old man leans back
thoughtfully and smiles as he rubs the three-day stubble on his chin.
The time has come for the Hammer of Maia to strike!

Some weeks later, in another part of town, little Billy Beeper walks
home from school. Suddenly he hears a voice right next to his ear.

"Psst! Hey, kid! Would you like to try my 2M HT? It's free!"

Billy's eyes open wide as he faces the stranger. An embroidered patch
on the mans soiled jumpsuit reads "Codefree Charlie". "Gosh, no! Nancy
told me never to touch a radio which didn't beep!"

"Aw, c'mon!" says the old man. "I only wanna be friends with you!"

"Well, I don't know," replies Billy. "I was told that FM was bad for
you!"

"That's just what the grown-ups say to scare you!" says the drooling man.

"The truth is that they don't want you to try it 'cause it'll make you
grow up faster and be able to smoke cigarettes and drink liquor just
like them!"

Billy is hesitant, but suddenly a tall form looms before them and
grabs the ruffian by the collar.

"Golly!" exclaims Billy. "It's Captain Code!"

Yes, Readers, it's Captain Code: faster than a Vibroplex Blue Racer,
more powerful than an Alpha three-holer, able to leap tall pileups in a
single bound.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, old man," says Captain Code to the
hoodlum. "There are far better ways to earn money than to hoodwink
innocent children into a life of codelessness. It's to the FCC for you!

"And as for you, young friend, take my advice and stay away from
strangers, and believe nothing that they say. It's tragic, but until
Godless Nocodism is abolished from the world, there will always be
those who would like nothing better than to hurt you ."

"Gee, thanks, Captain Code!" says Billy. "I promise that I'll always
listen to Mom and Dad, and I'll keep away from strangers with shacks
on their belt!"

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