WELL THE SOUTH SIDE OF GLEN DALE
IS THE FAGGOT SIDE OF TOWN
AND IF YOU GO DOWN THERE YOU BEST BEWARE
OF A PUNK NAMED WOGER WISEMAN

NOW WOGER IS A FAGGOT
STAND ABOUT 5 FOOT FOUR
ALL THE DOWNTOWN JOHNS CALL HIM LOOSE SPHINCTER LOVER
HIS MOTHER CALL HIM 'HOE


CHORUS
AND IT'S BAD BAD WOGER WISEMAN
THE BADDEST PUNK IN THE WHOLE CELL BLOCK
BADDER THAN RICHARD SIMMONS
AND FATTER THAN NAT KING COLE


NOW WOGER HE'S A PUSSY
AND HE LIKES HIS PURPLE CLOTHES
HE LIKES TO WEAR HIS FISHNET HOSE,
UNDER EVERYONE'S NOSE
HE GOT CUSTOM PINK PANTIES
HE GOT A FRENCH TICKLE TOO
HE GOT A 32 INCH DILDO IN HIS POCKET FOR FUN
A VIBRATOR IN HIS SHOE


(REPEAT CHORUS)


NOW FRIDAY 'BOUT A WEEK AGO
WOGER SUCKIN' DICK
AND AT THE END OF THE YARD
SAT A BROTHER NAMED BINKIE
AND OO THAT GUY LOOKED NICE
WELL HE CAST HIS EYES UPON HIM
AND THE TROUBLE SOON BEGAN
CAUSE WOGER LEARNED A LESSON
BOUT MESSIN' WITH A PUNK OF A JEALOUS BITCH


WELL THE PUNKS TOOK TO BITCH SLAPPIN'
AND WHEN THEY PULLED THEM FROM THE BED
ROGER'S LARD ASS LOOKED LIKE A BLOODY PUZZLE
WITH AN EXTRA HOLE!


(REPEAT CHORUS)

NotRoger Wiseman but Lardass Davies the 33 year old virgin wrote:
WELL

BILLY, DON'T BE A ZERO

Vocal: Bo Donaldson & The Heywoods

[Words and Music by Mitch Murray and Peter Robin Callander]


The gay pride band came down along Main Street
The Village People fell in behind
I looked across and there I saw Billy Smith
Waiting to go and join the line
And with her head upon his shoulder
Mary, his old and hideous she-male mommy
From where I stood, I saw she was cryin'
And through her tears I heard her say

"Billy, don't be a zero, don't be a fool all your life"
"Billy, don't be a zero, you can go back to school at night"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your your head back as
you blo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a zero, don't forget we can give 'em a two for one you
know"

The whining faggots were trapped in a alley
The gay orgy raging all around
Dick Sergeant cried "We've got to hang on, boys"
"We got to hold this piece a'ground"
"I need a volunteer to ride me"
"And bring us back some extra men"
And Billy Smith's hand was up in a moment
Forgettin' all the words she said

Everybody said
"Billy, don't be a zero, don't be a fool all your life"
"Billy, don't be a hero, you can go back to school at night"
And as he started to go she said "Billy, keep your head back as you
blo-o-ow"
"Billy, don't be a hero, don't forget we can give 'em a two for one you
know"

I heard his she-male mommy got a letter
That told how Billy swallowed that day
The letter said that he was a zero
She should be proud he swallowed that way
I heard she threw that letter away

[military drums and fifes to end]