I've bought 7 SAME models since they were first made so I need one
that works correctly.

That meets these creiteria
1. That after carefully programming the SAME codes the radio actually
does sound off when any severe weather is in or near my county which
now only happens 25% of the time. I am less than 2 miles from the
transmitter from the local NWS.
2. SAME radio that can be programmed without the need to read a short
manual with horrible details.
3. Ability to program channels without pressing a very very long
sequence of buttons JUST to get to the FIPS number.
4. Be able to just press a button and LIST the FIPS numbers entered.
5. Be able to program a FIPS channel like this:
Press "new fips" button, then enter fips code, then press the "ok"
button. like that.
6. Have the radio SKIP the loud blaring alarm when an alert is sounded
so that you don't have to listen to a 900dB siren for a ful 10-15
seconds while waiting for the verbal message to be heard.

Oh Hell, why not just make a SAME weather radio that can be connected
via a USB cable and program by a website?

why not?