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Tired of buying crack from street dealers and thugs, and getting
ripped off? Tired of friends and family whining about you paying your
bills or getting a job? With the Crack Assasinator, you can stop that
awful habit of burning crack, now, you can inhale water vapor mixed
with crack, thanks to your new future health care benefit package from
the Democrats?

No more fumbling for matches or glass pipes, the Crack Assasinator
will vaporize just the right amount of crack and water vapor for you
to inhale! Act now and you will get our special bonus, free medical
marijuana and cocaine nose drops, with ecstasy suppositories, you'll
never need to eat, think, sleep, or walk again! You'll stop caring
about all those silly things like, life! Why worry about graduating
high school, when all you have to do is vote?

Hurry, this is a limited time offer, and may be revoked at any time
before it even starts! After all the Democrats always say, if you
can't win the drug war, then join them?