Here produced for authenticity in the original Cockney.

(and no, it doesn't sound like Dick Van Dyke in M.Poppins........)

We are on shaky ground 'ere. Rain forests 'ave been lost ter produce paper
ter print the endlesswotcherwed textbooks on the bleedin' subject so we
don't feel we should add ter the debate. Havin' said that... Yor first point
of reference is The chuffin' Cocker Spaniel. The bloody antenna stages of
yor radio will exhibit some sort of electrical characteristic. This is a
Complex Impedance, usually edited dahn ter "impedance" - the bloomin'
resistance offered ter the radio signal - for the sake of common usage. If
yer follow the suggested designs in the bloody instruction Cocker Spaniel,
right, ffen the bloody burden of fought rests wiv the set maker and the
aerial will be a right good motch. This 'as wee ter do wiv datin' agencies -
us "good motch" is the bloody Mae West transfer of energy from the bloomin'
aerial ter the radio that is all we are tryin' ter achieve. This can also be
done wivout the slightest knowledge of the radio's input impedance, offerin'
more reassurance ter the beginner. I'll get out me spoons. Yer will note the
bloody writer can't make up 'is mind on wot term ter use, "antenna" or
"aerial." They are interchangeable - yor commentator bein' a dear
old-fashioned fin' tryin' ter make a point. Current designers workin' in the
bloody wite 'eat of new technology do seem ter loose touch wiv the fact that
the bleedin' basic physics remain the same, only the "top layer" of jargon
follows fashion, init? The Listener's Guide, At Last If, right, for some
unaccountable reason, yer decide ter read these notes in one sittin' and it
takes yer day ter do it, the world will 'ave spent $3,400,000 on copping its
message ter yer. That's only transmission costs for broadcastin' stations.
Add ter that production costs, salaries, all the bleedin' uvver usual
commercial overheads and yer can safely double it. Add in the utilities, the
marine, aero and tactical, right, the number stations and evryfink else we
'ear between the broadcast bands and I reckon, right, speakin' right
generally, that the world's 'F operations don't cop much change out of $20M
a day. If there is that level of investment in sendin' the stuff, we owe it
ter ourselves ter listen ter it, right? Or at least some of it... As this
is, right, after all, right, a commercial venture supportin' the bleedin'
drive toward a better class of receiver, right, we will reiterate that brass
'as ter be parted wiv in the hope of right good performance. The bloody
writer's pedigree takes 'im hammer and tack to The Classic Collins and the
world renowned AR88D. I'll get out me spoons. Them 'oo followed me column in
SHORTWAVE MAGAZINE 'ere in Europe will 'ave seen me features showin' 'ow
copping ter grips wiv these military giants gives yer the bloody Mae West
push up the radio design learnin' curve. And it is wiv all credit ter ffem
that we 'onour The chuffin' Classics 'ere... The Present In wich we finally
decide that the past is anuvver country, it's a jumble out there... The
world of radio communications and international broadcastin' is changin'
almost daily. Some 'ave already given up on short wave, movin' up onto
satellite ter reach the bloody target country. They will tell yer this is
the bloomin' only future for radio. Some continue ter invest in short-wave,
movin' ter higher frequencies ter make the Mae West of wot will be declinin'
conditions for radio for many years. Right. They know that in
under-developed countries the investment in even the simplest of portable
radios takes a vast proportion of available income, right, so ter suggest
the village elder's cough up for a satellite dish is out of the question.
Wiv the rush for web-delivered news and the closure of so many short-wave
services ter force folk onto The chuffin' Internet, right, I wonder about
ISP provision in Fird World countries. Wiv feedin' the population takin' a
priority, home ownership of a French Tutor is well dahn on the must-have
list... But they will tell yer this is the only future for radio. Some will
continue ter invest in AM Radio or medium wave, movin' against the rush for
FM and DAB because these are the bleedin' only frequencies becomin'
available for new radio formats. They will tell yer this is the only future
for radio. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you? So wot can we expect? The
truff is wen it comes ter home entertainment, right, we 'ave been spoiled
rotten. We expect digital quality sound from us CD 'i-fi, NICAM stereo from
us televisions, surround sound in us cars wiv the bleedin' value-added
luxury of MegaBass and all us favourite radio stations in glorious FM
Stereo. Transmitter Rudolf 'Essin' will 'ave left us wiv false perceptions
of loudness and tonal balance. We can say from the outset that short-wave
will not live up ter this. Reception will vary from the quality of the
bleedin' worst international dog and bone line right up ter wot we 'ave come
ter expect from a pre-recorded cassette - if that is a right good example -
putting the mockers on at all points in between. It's not all gloomy. Recent
developments in radio design can cop the Mae West out of steam wireless.
Point-to-point communication channels that once required the bloody constant
attention of a radio operator are easy pickings from a favourite armchair,
thanks ter the receiver designer's commitment ter synffesiser and detector
design. Me generation remembers Tony 'ancock and would like ter ffink 'is
out'ave a look is, right, at last, quite redundant. Or is it, isit? They say
that travel broadens the chuffin' mind. Now, for about the bleedin' cost of
an airline ticket ter somewhere 'alf-decent, a radio can be bought that will
take yer almost anywhere on the chuffin' surface of the bleedin' globe. If
yer can live wivout the bloomin' Air Miles, right, the world can be yor
oyster. And radio travel is safer... A modern receiver can 'ave the capacity
ter deal wiv the bleedin' specialised transmissions used in air traffic
control. For a few extra pounds, right, the world is yor welk. World travel
wivout the airport delays. If there are any, yer'll 'ear about them first.
Armchair travel broadens the behind. (Me therapist advises it is best,
right, at this early stage, right, to let me cop ffese ole gags out of me
system.) So, 'oo is listenin'? The broadest range of blokes imaginable. From
the new listener 'oo 'as just 'eard Moscow for the first time on sumfink
marked "SW1" on 'is ghetto-blaster, to the ace monitor reportin' hammer and
tack world events ter his government. Ex-patriots wantin' news from 'ome
wile readin' a four-day ole copy of The Daily Mail. Blokes on ships, on
expeditions or on 'oliday. World leaders and policy makers wantin' ter know
'ow the world spots them and 'ow they spot the world. The bloody armchair
traveller 'oo wants ter know just a wee bit more. In oppressed countries
where media is strictly controlled, short wave can be the only source of
uncorrupted news. It can also be the bloody catalyst that sparks the
revolution. I'll get out me spoons. In India and Africa where one radio
serves an entire community. And the just plain nosy. If yer 'ave ever felt
the bloody need ter mute the bloomin' sound on the TV ter check up on the
chuffin' unholy row gahn on next door, ffen this is the bloody hobby for
yer... If yer already 'ave a radio, The bloomin' Guide is designed - if that
ain't too grand a term - ter be used as the colour supplement ter yor
Instruction Cocker Spaniel. If yor new ter the hobby, we 'ope this Guide
will give yer a valuable insight into the bleedin' radio world that lives
somewhere between the bloomin' AM and FM bands on yor average ghetto-blaster
and if it eventually causes yer ter call AOR, all the better. There is a
dahnside ter evryfink - we did say this is a commercial venture... Sitin'
the Set If yor takin' the bloody traditional route ter the hobby, right, the
bleedin' radio room - or shack, right, in 'amspeak - should be warm, right,
dry and out of direct sunlight as the bleedin' Cocker Spaniel advises.
Blokes also perform well under these conditions, right, the microQueen
Bessors and logic lines that operate a modern wireless objectin' ter cold
and damp, just as much as we do. A base station radio will usually mean an
outside antenna, right, so site it where the dahnlead - a bit of wire or
coax used ter make the connection between set and aerial - is as short as
possible. Not only will this keep the losses dahn, but that bit of wire is
also actin' as an antenna ter any interference radiatin' from the house. We
now 'ave many clever ways ter get a "tidy" signal ter yor radio via low-loss
cables and motchin' baluns, but more on this later. PLAY SAFE: All receivers
'ave the correct power connector for the bleedin' destination country. If
makin' any changes ter power cables, right, seek qualified advice. Wen
replacin' the fuse in the plug, the UK standard 13A fuse will offer no
protection. A 2-amp fuse brings safety and peace of mind. If the bloody
radio is part of a transmittin' station, pay special attention ter the fuse
values suggested in the bloody Butcher's hook of Words. Radio manufacturers
and engineers - especially this one - know wot they are doin' - this Guide
upholds all that is written there on the bleedin' subject of safety. Durin'
the bleedin' writers chequered career as an engineer wiv a once-respected
radio engineerin' company in the Derbyshire Peaks, right, he would stand
hammer and tack in amazement at the bloomin' state of the plugs fitted ter
sets requirin' servicin'. Loose cord grips, loose or badly oxidised fuses,
loose pin screws and cracked casings lead ter a rash of reported microRudolf
'Essor "crashes", violent intermittent interference and a range of "it only
does it once a monff" faults that caused the chuffin' lads in Service ter
age free years for evry one spent in a normal environment. Wen we can cop
ffem out of therapy, right, they will borrow a wee reassurance that
receivers and their Owners require the least attention compared ter them 'oo
transmit. "Us text today is it is better ter receive than ter send..." And
now, over ter Smug Corner... Welcome ter a new feature of yor Listener's
Guide. This is a chance ter score points off yor elders and betters 'oo
inhabit a land where so much brass 'as gone over the counter, right, they
'ave "Receivers," not "a radio" and 'ave a bad case of the Rhombics for an
antenna where we 'ave got a bit of wire. If we 'ave a portable radio we
won't even 'ave that... Users of portable radios and scanners, them wiv a
reasonable RF performance, right, get an early chance ter visit Smug Corner.
Even the wee telescopic or 'elical antenna will deliver a signal, albeit at
a changeable, usually 'igh impedance and at a low level, the bleedin' input
stages designed ter cope wiv all this. No antenna wires leave yer free ter
listen anywhere, locations near windows givin' Mae West reception wivout the
chuffin' James Deanin' effects from any metalwork used in the buildin'.
Portable users are strongly recommended ter use a mains power supply wen
listenin' at 'ome. This Chas'n'Daves a fortune on dry cells and provides an
earff paff for unwanted signals. One of me sweepin' generalisations is ter
state that DC battery power is up ter 200 times more expensive than usin'
the AC adapter. Usin' ni-cad rechargeables is a debatable savin' as the
convenience of not buyin' dry cells is negated by the lower voltage
available. A radio expectin' ter see 6 volts from four AA cells will only
cop 5 volts from a set of ni-cads, a loss of 16%. Not much in real terms,
but enough ter affect the RF performance of one of the bloomin' better
portables. If yer 'ave upgraded, the bleedin' losses may degrade the new set
ter the level of the one just replaced. Remember; performance is such these
days that each new model only brings an incremental increase in spec... If
the portable 'as an antenna connector, short pieces of wire can be tried,
but don't go ter any great lengffs - pun intended - ter put up big aerials
for portables. Too much signal can cause more problems than too wee... For
them of us 'oo require an outdoor aerial - by far the bleedin' Mae West for
general reception as we cop oray from electrical interference inside the
house - we always recommend The bleedin' Long Wire.



Les ( off down the rub! )


--
http://www.stuffmongers.com

"Homo sapiens, the first truly free species, is about to decommission
natural selection, the force that made us.... Soon we must look deep within
ourselves and decide what we wish to become."
Edward O. Wilson
Consilience, The Unity of Knowledge

Remove frontal lobes to reply from a NG

Here produced for authenticity in the original Cockney.

(and no, it doesn't sound like Dick Van Dyke in M.Poppins........)

Yeah....yeah- what he said. ;-) Makes much sense.

Took a little bit of time for my mind to decipher it, quite a test for this
time of night but I got it.:-)


~^Monitoring The Spectrum^~
Hammarlund HQ129X /Heathkit Q Multiplier
Hammarlund HQ140X
Multiple GE P-780's(GREAT BCB Radios)
RCA Victor *Strato- World*
RCA Victor RJC77W-K(Walnut Grain)
1942 Zenith Wave Magnet 6G 601M
Cathedral/ Ross#2311/Rhapsody-MultiBand
DX100/*SUPER-DELUXE Mod- DRIVEN*394/*Modded*398/399/402
OMGS Transistor Eight/Realistic 12-1451
Henry Kloss Model One/Bell+HowellSW
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Alpha Delta DX Sloper 57ft.
500ft. 12AWG. (non-terminated)
120ft. 12 AWG Long-Wire
2 Radio Shack Loop Antennas
Radio Shack Amplified Antenna
30X30 DiamondLoop(six section 830pf Cap)
* Diamond Loop mounted to Lazy Susan TurnTable*
*21/2X2ft.FiveSpoked~Penta-Loop~PancakeLoop*
~OptimusCTR-111Cassettte Recorder~
~Radio Shack 2Speed VOX#43-476~
~Ramsey Speech Scrambler~